Challenge 7: Fifteen Facts

Blog This Challenge 7
Tell us fifteen facinating, far fetched, frightening, funny or frivilous facts about yourself. Those bits of trivia that are floating around in your life.

Can you eat 10 burgers in one sitting? Do you sleep with your eyes open? Can you tie a cherry stalk into a knot? Speak 5 different languages?

All those things that you've bored your friends and family with for years - We want to know.

1. I'm currently addicted to scarves. I can't wear them often enough. I heart them.
2. I once had 12 inches cut off my hair. It felt so liberating. I doubt I'll ever grow my hair that long again. It's currently about 4 inches long all over.
3. I have the ability to drive a manual car, but haven't done so in over 2 years. I'm considering hiring a car one day just to refresh my memory.
4. I've fallen asleep with my eyes open, and conducted a conversation with my dad while I was sleeping. I remembered the conversation, but had hoped it was a bad dream, as it was about a neighbour who had passed away.
5. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people, and often consider getting back into contact with people from my past but don't because I feel slack for not having been a better friend.
6. I'm a hopless romantic. I believe that 'Prince Charming' is out there somewhere.
7. I get bored easily and almost constantly seek excitement.
8. I loathe the number 6, and am not particularly keen on the number 13 either. I will go out of my way to avoid the number 6. If I'm reading a book before I go to sleep, I will hesitantly stop at the end of chapter 5, and convince myself that I can stop there because I've only read 5 chapters. If I stop at the end of chapter 6, I tell myself it's okay because I'm up to chapter 7.
9. Once upon a time I didn't like the taste of coffee, now I love my caffiene fix in the morning and really appreciate a great coffee.
10. I love to cook, but don't cook proper meals often enough. This is partially due to not having the motivation to cook for myself, and partially because I don't like being the first to taste my food.
11. I fear death.
12. I don't tell people what the fondest memory I have of my pa is because I'm afraid they'll think bad things about him. I doubt society today would look at it in the same fond light as I do. That saddens me.
13. I can't remember the last time I told my father I loved him, but I do and he means the world to me.
14. I don't get to see my family as often as I would like, but I don't like to go to the area they live in as it upsets me and makes me feel uncomfortable. It no longer feels like home.
15. I have a secret that I'd love to share with you all, but I'm afraid you'd laugh at me and I don't handle criticism well.

The Person Behind the Blog

I've been trying to think of a story to share with you all. Something that gets deep inside Gemma's mind and gives you a bit of insight into the person sitting at her laptop typing these words.

I'm trying to track back to my childhood and think of a tale to tell, but nothing's coming to mind. It's as though I only have brief memories of my childhood, random flashbacks of things. Nothing that's stayed with me forever and will always be a part of me. Maybe I prefer to forget the past and enjoy the present to ignore the events that I wish had never happened. To remove the dark memories and focus on making future memories brighter.

A part of me wishes I could remember more from my childhood, but when I do try and take myself back, the things I do remember sadden me. It wasn't a traumatic childhood, but I'd prefer a different one if I had the choice. There are people out there who have had worse experiences, and I feel a great sympathy for them. I feel that mine was quite emotionally straining. Some people are shocked when they hear about certain aspects of my childhood. Like the fact that my sister and I were brought up solely by our father. I love him dearly and am eternally thankful for the fact that I had such a wonderful father. A father whose main purpose in life was to ensure the happiness of his two daughters. We have a good relationship now, but I still feel somewhat reserved when I'm sharing my life with him. There are times that I feel like I'm a failure in his eyes. Got a crap UAI in my HSC, dropped out of uni, left my husband at age 22 and moved interstate, divorced at 24. They don't make me less of a person, I know that, but I feel that I should've done more by now.
I remember when I was living with a 'friend', in between leaving my husband and moving to Queensland. A feeling of complete and utter loss and loneliness overwhelmed me and I didn't know what to do. I felt hopeless. Alone. Like a complete and utter failure. I rang my dad in tears, just needing to hear a familiar and reassuring voice. I got that, but not much else. He just said that there was nothing he could do because he was too far away. Then he asked me to never ring him again if I was in that frame of mind. That broke my heart.

My mother and I have had a strange relationship. At times close, at other times distant. When we're close, it feels like we're sisters or good friends rather than mother and daughter. My boyfriends mothers have always loved me. I latch onto them and get close to them, wanting a female figure to look up to. Friendships with females seem to have a tendency to die off for me though. We'll be close, and then slowly drift apart. Much like the on/off relationship I have with my mother.

All through my life, I've looked for someone to latch onto. A companion to spend time with so that I didn't have to spend time with myself. Now I know that I need to spend time with myself, or I can't give all that I am to my partner. I need to admit to myself who I am and be proud of that person. If at any stage I don't feel proud of what I'm doing or who I am, I need to change that. There's only one person in control of my life: me. So I need to take control of it and appreciate what I have to offer. To nurture my finer points, and tweak the not-so-fine.

The person behind the blog isn't really sure who she is some days, but usually, she thinks she's a pretty okay kinda gal.